Becoming A Parent - part 3

During Tracy's second pregnancy I was running for congress - running all over central Texas meeting as many people as I could, building a website, knocking on doors, making phone calls, writing emails, etc. I started this effort during the summer (when I have tons of free time). Once school started again, sleep became a precious commodity.

At the same time Tracy had just quit teaching to become a full time photographer. She was putting in 80 hours a week building her business. Fortunately, many of these hours were at home so we still got see each other.

She certainly wasn't crazy about me running for congress, but I think she knew I needed to do it. I felt God was calling me to do this - and prayed about it frequently. 

I failed miserably. Out of 7 candidates, 2 of us dropped out before putting our name on the ballot. I'm convinced I made the right decision - to run and to drop out - as strange as that sounds. The experience taught me tremendously - and the Lord had a great deal to teach me about putting first things first.

We woke up at 5 AM on December 9th, 2009  and were at the hospital shortly after. Tracy was going to be induced. There were tons of people at the hospital waiting for little Alexander to be born. After 20+ hours he was stuck inside Tracy. She pushed for close to 2 hours but her pelvis bone is too small and narrow. 

Back to the operating room we went for an unexpected C-section. In the early hours of December 10th we heard a screaming baby. Both of us broke out in tears as I held Tracy. We were overcome with joy and love for one another and for our new little boy.

As they wiped off Alexander under the heating lamp all I could do was cry tears of joy in a sleep-deprived stupor. Just then Cristina (my wife's friend and photographer who was there to take pictures) reminded me to talk to Alex. I don't even remember what I said, but as soon as I spoke to him he stopped crying and looked around for my voice. This remains one of the most magical moments of my life.

I carried Alex into the nursery and set him in the window for all the family members to look at him. He wasn't crying and he shifted his head in response to each new face appearing in the glass. The nurses kept commenting on how alert he was and how unusual it was to have a baby respond like this right out of the womb. Does this mean my son is brilliant? I have no idea. But it did make an unforgettable experience.

I was still crying as I held him and watched him respond to his grandparents and aunts and uncles. But all I could think of was my wife. The woman who had done more to bring Alexander into this world than anyone and she was missing these moments; being stiched up and tied down back in the operating room. All I could think of was how I needed to be with her. Alexander had nurses and family watching him, so I walked back to be with my wife. First things first.

Becoming A Parent part 2 - What's In A Name?

When my wife became pregnant a second time I was much more cautious. I don't think I told anybody that wasn't close to me until 6 months into the pregnancy.

During the second trimester we learned we were having a boy. My wife really wanted a girl, I figured we'd have more than one, so whatever God gave us was fine by me.

We had discussed names for boys and girls. We took a walk around our neighborhood and concluded that we both wanted his name to be Alexander Wayne Autem. (I kinda wanted Alexander Augustus Autem, but Tracy said she wasn't going to have a son go by Triple A. I still kinda like it but Wayne has been in the family for more generations than I can count so we went with it.)

Since both me and my wife were teachers, we nixed any names that always meant problem child in the classroom: Johnny, Brandon, Bubbafuncho (long story). Alex students were usually good students - and we both had an Alexandria at the time who was an exceptional student.

But most importantly, Alexander means "defender of men". The Lord had recently convicted my heart about my support for abortion. My pro-life conversion wasn't without a fight but ultimately the Lord won. Having a child who would defend life, especially at it's most innocent and vulnerable, was of paramount importance. Hence, not only was his name chosen, he was also given a purpose.

In the months afterward I was constantly talking to Alexander. I would sing him songs - despite my awful singing voice. The ebullience of new life growing in my wife was uncontainable. Even my students noticed and felt my joy. Every day I found myself more and more excited to meet Alexander. Feeling his movement inside my wife, his response to my touch or voice - these moments drew Tracy and I closer together than we had ever been before.

Becoming A Parent

Having your first child is like looking out at the vast, unknown ocean and then setting sail. I was 29 when I got to hold my first. I imagine the younger you are, the more intimidating the experience.

When my wife first told me she was pregnant I was over the moon with joy. I sent out an email to everyone at work announcing I would be a father. My wife warned me that the first trimester is a dangerous time for new babies, but I wasn't concerned, miscarriages were a rarity in my mind.

Two months later, my wife miscarried. When I got the call at work, I couldn't stop sobbing.

That night I thanked God for this day. It's still the hardest prayer I've ever said, but I was sincere. I had faith that our Father would bless us through this sadness.

Later I would learn just how common miscarriages are. As a guy I never realized how many women have them - and that many of those women have experienced more than one.

I felt like an idiot when everyone at work would ask me how the baby was doing and I would have to tell them we lost the baby. I should have listened to my wife and kept my mouth shut.

The Lord did bless us with another baby very soon afterward. Sometimes I still wonder about the baby we lost. Will I see him or her in Heaven? My faith tells me that I will - and I hope all other parents who have lost children will as well.